On Monday’s new hour, Bethenny invited her two friends to meet her for a “gangster lunch” to hash things out. Dorinda showed up with hoop earrings and pink hair, ready to let bygones be bygones, but Luann was a bit standoffish. After all, Dorinda did throw Lu’s drunk arrest in her face and then heckled her at her cabaret show last year. (“Jovani!” “Jovani!” It never gets old.)
At lunch, Bethenny tried to get Luann to compliment Dorinda’s “gangster” look, but the Countess wasn’t budging. She also didn’t really get what pink hair had to do with making amends, but this is the same woman who thought quoting Tyler Perry was a sufficient apology. You don’t have to get her in order to love her!
Bethenny then brought up how Lu had recently moved, which both women were actually excited to talk about. Luann said her new house was round, which peaked Dorinda’s interest.
“So the devil will never get there,” Dorinda said. “You know why they did that? The Puritans used to make round houses because the devil could only catch you in a corner.” Bethenny had not heard this.
“Well, they say it’s good feng shui to have a round house,” Luann added. “You know, animals live in round things, live in trees. Indians live in teepees.”
“Predators can’t get to you ’cause you need a corner!” Dorinda added.
While Bethenny was happy the two could find some common ground, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“These two bitches are whack jobs,” she blurted out during her confessional. “I don’t know what the f–k they’re even talking about. When I look for real estate, I don’t consider if the devil’s coming over.”
Barbara ended up joining Bethenny and the two “whack jobs,” and after the food arrived, Dorinda cut to the chase.
“Okay, so listen, we all know why we’re here,” she said, turning her sights to Lu. “I just wanted to say I love you. I hope we can work this out. I thought we were on a good path, but I do wanna say, I care for you. And even if we can’t be friends right now — which maybe we’re both in different parts of our life — I want us both to have peace about it. And I want you to know I care for you and love you.”
In keeping with her quote theme, Dorinda added, “You know that old saying, ‘I may not be able to wish you luck, but I wish you well’?”
Luann interrupted, “Well, I wish you well, too, Dorinda. I mean, I don’t want to keep this whole thing going. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to be uncomfortable. We see each other a lot, we have the same friends. I don’t want it to be like that, I really don’t. I just wanna move forward.”
The sweet sentiments were soon replaced by the nitty-gritty details of what went down at Lu’s cabaret show. Dorinda said her outburst (she still refuses to call it heckling) was prompted by the fact that Luann didn’t invite Dorinda’s longtime boyfriend, John Mahdessian, to the show.
Dorinda kept saying she thought she and Lu had moved passed the Jovani incident, but Luann didn’t feel she had ever received an adequate apology.
“Ramona may be the apologizer, but Dorinda is the denier,” Bethenny later told cameras. Barbara, who’s Luann’s longtime friend, also vented about Dorinda. “You know what Dorinda’s problem is? She can’t say, ‘I’m wrong,'” Barbara said. “She always has an excuse for everything, and she’s her own worst enemy.”
The ladies toasted “to a truce” before Dorinda got up to give Lu a hug and a kiss. Luann was not overly thrilled, but she accepted it.
Later on, Dorinda had a one-on-one conversation with Barbara that ended with a screaming, crying Dorinda kicking Barbara out of her house.
Dorinda originally invited Barbara over to her apartment to get her advice on potential renovations (Barbara is in construction), but the conversation quickly turned to Luann.
“How do you think the lunch went?” Dorinda asked Barbara, who replied, “Luann said that she was happy that you guys have moved passed it, but she also said that she was surprised that you wouldn’t budge on an apology. She was like, ‘I just really thought she was gonna apologize.'”
“She’s stuck, the poor girl,” Dorinda replied. “She’s really stuck. I feel sorry for her. She’s gotta get someone to help her with that because I think she’s shadowboxing and victimizing herself. And she wants to villainize me.”
Dorin went on to say Luann was “obsessed” with the whole situation and that she’s got all her friends, including Barbara, drinking the Kool-Aid. Barbara then mentioned Luann was also hurt that Dorinda had been discussing her legal situation (and “waving” around court docs) in a group setting, but Dorinda put the blame on Sonja Morgan. (Cue footage of Dorinda pulling up the 18-page document on her phone and showing it to Sonja across a restaurant table.)
Naturally, the conversation escalated.
“I’m just telling you that she expected an apology,” Barbara said. Dorinda lifted her glasses up and fired back, “I don’t need you or Bethenny involved in my relationship. I have been friends with this girl for over 13 years. I was family! I was in her wedding!”
Dorinda then started to cry. “So I have been ride or die. I was there when no one else was around. I had her in a special ring. She has my prayer cards!” Dorin sobbed. “I prayed for her! I took her to church! I was there to the point of humiliation. There’s just so much I can take! This has got to end because I will not get sick over this. I won’t. And you can go if you’re gonna come here and aggravate me because I can’t have it!”
“If you want me to go, I’ll go,” Barbara replied.
“Go!” Dorinda demanded.
“Okay, fine. No problem,” Barbara said calmly as she walked toward the front door. “And you can take your renovation and do it yourself.”
“You can stay home!” Dorinda shouted back as she slammed her bedroom door behind her.
“The Real Housewives of New York” airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
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